For those who want to find this later. the solution is the following
IMeetingUIControllerDotNetWrap uictrl_service = CZoomSDKeDotNetWrap.Instance.GetMeetingServiceWrap().GetUIController();
HWNDDotNet firstHwd = new HWNDDotNet();
HWNDDotNet secondHwd = new HWNDDotNet();
ValueType va_1 = firstHwd;
ValueType va_2 = secondHwd;
uictrl_service.GetMeetingUIWnd(ref va_1, ref va_2);
firstHwd = (HWNDDotNet)va_1;
Console.WriteLine("after call GetMeetingUIWnd: firstHwd.value = " + firstHwd.value);
now this will get you the UI WIndow handle
you can then follow the tutorial here
https://social.msdn.microsoft.com/Forums/en-US/3e599c8c-538c-4da0-87d4-de3eef26b1f7/embed-an-exe-into-a-stackpanel-of-a-wpf-form?forum=wpf
On how to embed into a specific place in your WPF
Make sure you include the necessary resources for your project to be able to use WindowsFormsHost
My Xaml part of concern look like this
<WindowsFormsHost Margin="10" Grid.Row="0" Name="ZoomPlace">
<wf:Panel x:Name="CBox"/>
</WindowsFormsHost>
The Embed function in the window class was as such
public void embedZoom()
{
IMeetingUIControllerDotNetWrap uictrl_service = CZoomSDKeDotNetWrap.Instance.GetMeetingServiceWrap().GetUIController();
ValueType va_1 = new HWNDDotNet();
ValueType va_2 = new HWNDDotNet();
uictrl_service.GetMeetingUIWnd(ref va_1, ref va_2);
HWNDDotNet firstHwd = (HWNDDotNet)va_1;
SetParent((System.IntPtr)firstHwd.value, CBox.Handle);
Console.WriteLine("after call GetMeetingUIWnd: firstHwd.value = " + firstHwd.value);
//SetParent(firstHwd.value,);
SendMessage((System.IntPtr)firstHwd.value, WM_SYSCOMMAND, SC_MAXIMIZE, 0);
}
hope this helps some one other than me